Restlessness

As it always should have been, this time it was not same as what it was before. In the last few years, changes have become a part of me slowly that is far too difficult for me to notice, restraining myself not to; is a totally different topic. When was the last time i was trully happy? This question roams inside my head always and i’m not certain about the answers i’m getting from myself. But one scene that comes again and again in my mind is from 5 years back. Many people says that they have sometimes imagined looking at themselves from the eyes of some other person. I thought it as an self-appraising talk, but i have done the same more than the times that i can ignore it as a random thing. The feeling of looking at myself, the truth behind every expression that people can’t get, the stunning silence when hearing every bit of nothing turning into loud voices inside my head. Then i get, why i appear strange to people around me especially who complaint the same. Do i really can’t control it? or may be i don’t care or i’m too busy with other things in my life or i’m too tired to try to change my ways around it. What really are the answers to my unending restlessness…
# The answer lies within me, i know that. But the journey to that might be a little too difficult…

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